Pang Tong's Journey
by Etero
Summary: This is Pang Tong's story, for those of you who like anime, and don't mind some that I sort of make fun of them... I like these animes, I just like to make fun of them...Summary is in the first chapter so please read and then decide whether to read or not
1. Intro

**D.W. Parody**

**Pang Tong's Journey**

Hello there. Pang Tong's the name. Some know me as the Fledgling Phoenix. I was a Shu strategist in Dynasty Warriors 4. I say 'was' because I quit. You'd quit too if you always died by an arrow. Being part phoenix, I burn and revive every time this happens. And I am tired of it. So after dying in Cheng Du, I decided to look for a new role in life. To do this, I journeyed throughout China, looking for a way to escape this damn world. My chance came when I met with Zhuge Liang (a fellow strategist) who knew a few spells, like myself. After a long and arduous research, we were finally able to create a portal that could travel through other dimensions. Zhuge Liang warned me that the portal couldn't stay in one place for too long, for it would disappear and come back only after a long time, if ever. After saying my good byes, I entered the portal.

It is an amazing place, the path through dimensions. Very colorful. Although the spiral fashion did make me puke (a real problem when wearing a mask). However, I had to choose where to go. After some consideration, I decided to enter the Gundam part of the universe first. It seemed like an interesting universe. Giant mechanical contraptions wreaking havoc always seem fun, right? So I decided to go here first.

I thought it would be easy, but I was wrong. These people were mostly selfish. They didn't like newcomers. Some were nice in their rejections, but others were real pricks. Here is the order in which I was rejected:

Mobile Suit Gundam Universe: "Nope, sorry" said Amuro.

Gundam Wing: "No," Heero said simply and coldly. "When was the last time you ever smiled?" I dared to ask him. He gave me a worst look, so I decided not to argue with him. Those eyes could kill.

G Gundam: "HELL NO!" Domo yelled. "Okay, Okay, I'm sorry," I said, nervous at this freak's behavior. "Please forgive him," said a French looking guy, "But he always shouts when he talks." "NO I DON'T!" Domo yelled again. "Good grief," I said. I tip-toed to the portal, although as soon as I heard the words "BURNING FINGER!" I jumped head-first for it.

After going through and regaining my breath, I decided to go on one last Gundam series before giving up entirely: Gundam Seed. Who knows? Perhaps my luck will improve here…

-Pang Tong


	2. Chapter 1: THE SEARCH FOR A NEW LIFE

**Gundam Seed Universe**

**CHAPTER 1**

**THE SEARCH FOR A NEW LIFE**

Pang Tong went through the portal and landed on a steel floor. Not used to this sort of flooring, he lost his footing and fell. "How embarrassing," he said to himself. He stood up, and after getting his composure back, looked at the portal. "It's better if I leave it open," he said to himself, "I'll probably get kicked out of here soon anyway." Sure enough, he was rejected as soon as he asked. "Why not," Pang Tong asked.

"Because we already have more than enough people on this ship," Kira said, "I'm sorry, but we really don't need another tragedy." "What," Pang Tong asked.

"Listen, the point is that you can't stay. You could be a Zaft spy," said a blonde girl. "What makes you think that?", Pang Tong asked. "Because your wearing green." This was so ridiculous that Pang Tong could have slapped her, but that went against what he was, so he held back. "Who are you," Pang Tong asked, trying to sound polite. "I'm Cagali," the girl said, "And I think it's better if you leave." "Cagali's right," Athrun said. Kira looked at Athrun for a moment. "You know, you've been agreeing to a lot of things that Cagali has been suggesting lately. Why is that?" "Uh, well." "That's not relevant right now," Cagali said.

Pang Tong shrugged. "Whatever," he said. He turned to leave, but then saw something that horrified him. It was the portal. It had closed. There was a minute of confused silence. Then Athrun asked, "Weren't you leaving?" "I can't," Pang Tong said. He sounded calm, but in his mind he was desperately searching for an excuse. "Why not?" Cagali asked. "Because we're in space," Pang Tong said. _Please work_, he thought. "Oh, yeah," Kira said. "Hey, wait a minute, how did you get in here?" "Beats me," Pang Tong said.

"Works for me," Kira said, "He'll stay then." "What," Kagali nearly shouted. "Really," Pang Tong asked, barely believing his ears. "Sure," Kira said, "I'm sure Lacus can find you a place to stay." "Welcome to the Eternal," said Athrun. Pang Tong smiled (not that anybody could see it through his mask).

"Bastards," Pang Tong said bitterly. He was in the MS hangar. According to Lacus, there weren't any rooms available, so they gave him a pillow and a blanket and shoved him in the hangar. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get comfortable or warm. "That's it," he said. He took his staff and concentrated. Suddenly the orb in the staff turned bright red. "Fire," Pang Tong yelled. Suddenly a fireball came out of his staff and struck his blanket. "Oops," Pang Tong said. He didn't mind though. The fire was warm. But before he could enjoy it, the fire went out. Apparently, the temperature was so cold that the fire couldn't stay lit. "Damn it," Pang Tong said. He suddenly heard voices. "Hm?" Pang Tong grabbed his staff and followed the sounds.

When he got to the area where he heard the sounds (It was under the Justice Gundam), he saw Cagali and a pink-haired girl he recognized as Lacus sitting on the feet of the Gundam. They were looking down, apparently at a picture. "Oh my," Lacus said, giggling madly. "Yeah, isn't it unbelievable?" said Cagali. "And you're planning to show this to them?" Lacus asked. "Yep," Cagali answered, with a nasty grin. "Your so cruel," Lacus said, although it sounded more like admiration than disgust. "Let's go before somebody sees us," Cagali said. Pang Tong saw her place the photo under the gundam before leaving. As soon as he made sure that they were gone, he jumped down and grabbed the photo. "Now, let's see what we have here," he said. He looked at the photo, than gasped. "Good grief," he said_. And they were planning to show this to people?_, he thought, _Talk about a reputation destroyer_. He decided that he would keep the photo and show it to the victim. He might as well warn him.

The next day in the mess hall, people had stopped eating to stare at the masked man on the far table. They were amazed that the man could eat with his mask on. "How do you do that?" Kira asked after sitting beside Pang Tong. "Years of practice," he said. He slurped some of his drink through a straw. "Anyway Kira, there is something I have to show you," he said. "Oh, What is it," Kira asked. "Not here," Pang Tong said. He stood up and signaled Kira to come with him. Out in the hall, Pang Tong looked around to make sure there was no one around, then took the photo from his sleeve and showed it to Kira. "What is this?" Kira asked. He looked at the photo and gasped in horror. "Where did you get this!" he asked. "Calm down," Pang Tong said, "Kagali had it." "What," Kira said. "Yeah, she said she was going to show it to the whole crew," Pang Tong explained. Kira looked at the photo again. It was a photo of him and Athrun, and they were kissing.

"How could she?" Kira said, "She knew we didn't have a choice." "What do you mean," Pang Tong asked. "This was the day Athrun and I went to the beach," Kira said, "We had been kidnapped and the men who kidnapped us said that if we didn't kiss in front of the camera, they would kill us." Kira started to cry. _What a wuss_, Pang Tong thought. "Okay, stop crying, we'll get back at them." Pang Tong said. "How?" Kira asked between sobs. "By getting our own dirt on them."

Kira and Pang Tong went inside Lacus's room. "What better place to find some serious evidence of wrong doing than inside the room of the most innocent person in the ship," Pang Tong said. "Wow, this room's pretty fancy," Kira said. It really was. The floor was mahogany wood, and there was a king-sized bed in the middle. Besides the two sides of the bed were beautifully carved bedside tables. There was also a strangely placed projector with a screen in front of the bed. "Okay," Pang Tong said, "Search the drawers. Look for anything suspicious." "Right," Kira said. They started searching. They looked everywhere: the drawers, the closet, under the bed, but found nothing. While Pang Tong was looking in one drawer, he found something he considered peculiar: He found what looked like a string, or an assortment of strings looking like it was made to hold something. "I didn't think that girl was into knitting," he said. "What do you mean?" asked Kira. "This," Pang Tong said, showing the object to Kira, "She's not very good though. This can't be used for anything. Kira?" Pang Tong asked, looking at Kira's stunned face. "I can't believe she has that," Kira said stunned. "What?", Pang Tong said, "It's just some string." "Pang Tong, that's not string," Kira said. "What," Pang Tong asked confused, "Than what is it?" "That's a, well, a G-string," Kira said, blushing. "So it is a string," Pang Tong said. "Yeah, but it's not used for knitting," Kira said nervously. "No, Then what do they use it for," Pang Tong asked, very curious of what else could anyone use this for. "Women wear that," Kira said. "What!" Pang Tong said alarmed. He looked at the string before him. _People wear this?_, he thought. "Put that away," Kira said. "All right," Pang Tong said. _So much for the innocent young girl_, he thought.

Later in the search, Kira looked under the pillow and found two cases which had cartridges in them. One said PRIVATE and the other HOMELY. "Hey Pang Tong, look what I found," Kira said. Pang Tong looked at the boxes, than at the projector. "Hmm," Pang Tong said, "Let's watch, shall we?" After setting up the projector, Kira put the slides in it. "Let's see what Lacus has on 'private', eh?" Pang Tong said as he turned on the projector.

It was a slide show, and a stupid one at that. They were family photos, with Lacus on most of them. One she was holding hands with Athrun, another she was with her father, and another she was with some friends on the beach. Kira had almost fallen asleep when Pang Tong turned off the projector. "What idiot places family photos in 'private'?" he asked frustrated. It seemed as though Lacus was as clean as a whistle. "Well, let's try the homely photos," Kira said. "What could possibly be on homely?" Pang Tong asked. "I don't know, but it's worth a try, right?" Kira said. "Yeah, all right," Pang Tong said.

He replaced the slides and turned on the projector. Sure enough, the first photo was of Lacus smiling. "This is ridiculous," Pang Tong said. "Um, Pang Tong, look" Kira said. Pang Tong did, and his eyes widened. The next picture was Lacus holding a Uzi. "Well, that destroys her pacifist complexion," Pang Tong said. But it didn't stop there. The next slide was a picture of her shooting at a man with the Uzi. "What the-" Pang Tong said. The next slide she was collecting the man's blood with a champagne cup. The other one she was drinking it. "Oh my god," Kira said astonished. In the other photo she was over Kira. Pang Tong looked at Kira puzzled. "I don't remember that," Kira said, "Unless…" Kira's eyes widened. "Well?" Pang Tong asked. "That must have been when I was unconscious." Kira said. The next slide showed her smoking marijuana, another sniffing cocaine, another drinking beer in excess . "This is creepy," Pang Tong said. "Creepy," Kira said. He clearly found it horrifying. In another slide Lacus was torturing a servant with a hammer. In another she was driving a needle under a man's nail, in another she was slapping some girl relentlessly. Then a continuous and horrifying string of pictures of torture (where Lacus appeared on all of them). "I think we should stop watching this," Pang Tong said. _This could cause Kira brain damage_, he thought. The next picture had Cagali undressing. "No way," Pang Tong said. In the next was a scared looking Flay. In the other one Lacus and Cagali. Then Lacus part of an orgy so disturbing that normal people would never be able to stand it. Then another photo of Lacus, Cagali and Flay. Then a string of disturbing and similar pics appeared. Pang Tong was about to turn off the projector when suddenly, it ended.

Pang Tong and Kira just remained silent. "Homely, huh?" Pang Tong said. "Yeah," Kira said. "Let's get out of here," Pang Tong suggested. As they both stood up, Pang Tong took some of the slides and left the room. As they walked down the hall, an alarm went off, then an explosion. "All hands to Level 1 battle stations," said a voice over the intercom, "We are under attack." "Come on, Pang Tong," Kira said and ran. Pang Tong followed. _Maybe a battle will shake off the disturbing images I saw_, he thought, _Still, I have feeling that I'm going to have a bad time here_.


	3. Chapter 2: MS

**CHAPTER 2**

**MS**

Pang Tong and Kira reached the hangar quickly. Inside there was a buzz of commotion as people started getting ready for the battle ahead. "Kira," called Athrun. Kira and Pang Tong turned to look at Athrun. He was wearing a red one-piece jumpsuit and a helmet under his arm. _What a lack of style_, Pang Tong thought. "Who's attacking us," Kira asked. "Zaft," Athrun said. "Take care out there," Kira said. "You too," said Athrun, and he left for the Justice. "Hey, let me help," Pang Tong said. "You don't know how to pilot a mobile suit," Kira said. "Well, actually," Pang Tong said, "I've been reading a book here called 'MS piloting for idiots', so I know a little." "Hmm," Kira said, clearly worried. "Ah, come on, please?" Pang Tong said in a mock pleading voice. "Well, we do have a spare M1," Kira said. "Great!" Pang Tong said, "Don't worry, I won't be in the way." He left for the MS. "What have I done," Kira asked himself worriedly, then left.

As the mobile suits left, an operator noticed the M1 was preparing to launch. "Ma'am, the M1 is preparing to launch." "What," said Lacus surprised, "But who's the pilot?" "I am," said a voice through the intercom. "Pang Tong," Lacus said. "The one and only," he said. "Are you sure you can pilot the MS," Lacus asked. "I'm pretty confident," Pang Tong said. "Very well, take care," Lacus said. "Yeah, you too," Pang Tong said, "Bitch," he said between coughs. "What," Lacus said. "Oh, nothing," Pang Tong answered, "M1 launching," His mobile suit launched, and he saw the vastness of space, and the hundreds of Ginns in front of the ship.

"Well, this should be interesting," Pang Tong said. He saw the Justice and Freedom shooting a lot of Ginns with ease, while other mobile suits of similar appearance where lending support to the ships. "They seem to have everything under control here," Pang Tong said, and opened the book. "Okay, let's see here," he said, "Movement of mobile suit with pedals, yeah, I read that… Ah, Here it is. How to shoot. Just aim with the gun at your target and press the trigger button. The MS should do the rest." He looked at the joystick that controlled the arm. "That seems easy enough," he said. He took the joystick, aimed and fired. Instead of hitting the Ginn he was aiming at, he hit another M1. He stared in horror as the mobile suit exploded, the pilot probably unaware that he or she was shut down by an idiot of their side. "Okay," he said, "How do I get out the beam saber?" He read the book again and found what he was looking for. He drew out the saber, and prepared for the fight. "All right, let's see if I'm cut out to be a mobile suit pilot." He flew forward.

The Ginns noticed Pang Tong's brash action and fired. Pang Tong dodged with ease and slashed two of the Ginns in half. The Ginns exploded as Pang Tong continued to attack other Ginns. "What a bunch of losers," Pang Tong said as he easily destroyed five more. "Pang Tong," Kira's voice called. "Huh, Kira," Pang Tong said, looking around, trying to see where the voice came from. "Up here," said Kira. Pang Tong looked up and saw Kira in a small screen. "Hey, Kira what's up," Pang Tong asked. "I just wanted to ask you if you could, you know, stop destroying Ginns?" Kira asked timidly. "Huh," Pang Tong said confused. "Well, it's just that we have a sort of no-kill policy, you see, and--" "That's all right," Pang Tong said, "I'll try. Although, that's one rule that Lacus doesn't really advocate, now does she?" "No, I guess not," Kira said, "Still, I never thought she'd be that way." "We'll worry about it later," Pang Tong said, "Right now, let's worry about the fight." "Right," Kira said, "Kira out." Pang Tong turned his attention again to the overwhelming number of Ginns in front of him. "No-kill policy, huh," Pang Tong said, "This could get difficult." He charged for the enemy, wondering how he was going to fight them without destroying them.

The battle had gone on for one hour, and there were dozens of destroyed ginns. Most were simply incapacitated, blown arms and weapons. As for the battle, it was still as chaotic as it could be. The Buster gundam was lending support fire to the Archangel, taking a few hits but dishing out huge damage. The Eternal was also taking heavy fire. The Freedom and Justice were on the front, destroying enemy mobile suits. As for Pang Tong, he was finding it impossible to not destroy a Ginn. But although they were fighting fiercely, Pang Tong could see that they couldn't keep up this sort of battle with few forces for long. Eventually they'll be overwhelmed. "There has to be a way to end this quickly," he said. It was then that he saw an enemy ship in the distance. It was large, and Pang Tong was sure that that was their command center. _If I can destroy that_, Pang Tong thought, _I could confuse the enemy forces, making the fight easier_. He resolved to destroy that ship, despite the huge number of enemy forces. "Kira," he called. "Yeah," Kira responded. "I'm heading straight for the enemy flag ship," Pang Tong said, "Please provide supporting fire." "What," said Athrun. "Pang Tong, wait," Kira said, but too late. Pang Tong had already charged forward, going through the ranks of ginns at high speed. He cut through the ginns that got in the way, not stopping for anything.

The battleship Starblade was on the back of the lines, giving out orders to the ginns. "Ha!" said the captain, "Were finally breaking through." "Sir!" said one of the operators, "A mobile suit is approaching!" "What?" yelled the captain, "Have you identified it?" "It's an enemy mobile suit!" said the scared operator. Suddenly, Pang Tong's M1 appeared right in front of the ship. The captain and his crew stared at the barrel of it's beam gun. "But…how?" said the captain. The gun fired, and the captain and his crew knew no more.

Pang Tong backed away as the ship exploded in front of him. "Well, that worked," he said. But when he turned, he found himself face to face with at least a hundred angry ginns. "O-kay," he said. He took the book from earlier and searched desperately. "Okay, here. 'When finding yourself in a desperate situation, turn on the MS computer located under the seat.' Right, so, what's a computer?" He looked under the seat and found what he supposed was a computer. It had numbers on it. "Okay, now type the numbers 2-5-7-5-1." He did. "Press enter." He did. Suddenly, a fifteen second timer appeared. "Huh?" He read again. "Congratulations. You have activated a small nuclear self-destruct device. May you die for whatever it is your fighting for." Pang Tong looked at the timer again. "Oh," he said, suddenly realizing what it meant. "Pang Tong!" yelled Kira. "Kira," Pang Tong said. He saw behind the ginns a string of explosions. The Freedom was heading straight for him. Kira had gone into seed mode, although Pang Tong didn't know this. "Pang Tong, don't do it," Kira yelled, "You don't have to die this way! We can still make it through!" (Apply sad or dramatic music here) Apparently, Kira thought that Pang Tong was going to self-destruct on purpose. _If only he knew_, Pang Tong thought. And where was that sad tune coming from? "Well, might as well make this look good," he said. He put Kira on screen. "I'm sorry, Kira, but this is the only way," he said in a fake sad voice, "Pang Tong out." _Well, that sounded corny enough,_ he thought. He saw the timer again. 5 seconds. He decided to look at the back of the book to see who was the author. It read Heero Yuey and Lacus Clyde. _Lacus, _Pang Tong thought. "Son of a--" Pang Tong said, but was interrupted by a bright light that appeared from the computer, then exploded.

Kira saw in horror as the M1 that Pang Tong was piloting exploded in front of him. It was a huge explosion, engulfing the ginns surrounding it. The Freedom was knocked back by the explosion. "Pang Tong!" Kira yelled again as he tried to regain control of his mobile suit. The explosion lasted ten seconds. After the explosion, Kira was able to regain control of the mobile suit. What he saw before him was a scene of destruction. There were destroyed ginns everywhere. Apparently the explosion engulfed all the ginns of the force. But Kira wasn't preoccupied with that. He had just seen Pang Tong, who had offered to help, who had gotten the worst treatment possible, die saving them. He saw something floating towards him. He recognized it as Pang Tong's hat. He grabbed it and went back to the Eternal.

When he got out of the Freedom, he saw Athrun, Cagali and Lacus all standing in front of him. They all looked sad. He jumped out and showed them the hat. "This was all I could find of him," he said and started to cry. "I can't believe it," Cagali said, "And after everything I said to him." "I never trusted him that much either," Athrun said. "He died saving us," Lacus said, "We will never forget him." Kira was still crying. "Pang Tong," he said tearfully, "Why did you have to die?" They all just stared at the hat. Then, unexpectedly, it went up in flames. Green flames. "What the--" said Athrun. The flames went into the shape of a bird, soared around the hangar, and landed on the ashes of the hat. Suddenly, a shape came out of the hat. And Pang Tong came out of the ashes, mask and all. "Missed me?" he asked, standing up and patting away some of the ashes from his clothes. He looked at Kira, who had tears in his face. "Has anyone ever told you that you cry too much for a guy," he asked. Pang Tong looked at everyone's shocked faces. "I guess I have some explaining to do, huh," he said. If there was one thing that Pang Tong was sure of, it was things would get more complicated from now on.


	4. Chapter 3: WHAT MUST BE DONE

**CHAPTER 3**

**WHAT MUST BE DONE**

Pang Tong was in the hangar, floating around due to the lack of gravity. It had been very difficult to convince the others that he had survived that explosion, and that the fire was nothing more than a product of their depression. Still, it somehow worked, and Pang Tong was left shocked at their gullibility. _I wonder when that portal is going to appear again_, he though. He had a room of his own, but he had discovered that the hangar was the place to think privately. Although it was true that he was treated better, he knew he couldn't stay here. It just wasn't working for him. Just as he was wondering if he would ever get out, a portal opened in front of him. "What the heck," Pang Tong said surprised. It was a portal, but he could tell from a strange feeling that it wasn't his portal. He grabbed his staff and got some distance between himself and the portal. He stared as a figure of a man came out of the portal. "Long time no see, Pang Tong," said a calm familiar voice. "Zhuge Liang," Pang Tong asked.

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"So, why did you come," Pang Tong asked as he gave Zhuge a glass of water. They were on top of the Freedom, trying to stay out of view from the others. "I came to warn you," said Zhuge. "Of," Pang Tong asked. "Pang Tong, you must leave here immediately," Zhuge said. "Why?" "Pang Tong, haven't you noticed the strange things occurring here," Zhuge asked. "Strange is an understatement," Pang Tong said. "Listen," said Zhuge, "Your presence here has altered the history of this universe. You must leave before something catastrophic happens." "How do you know all this," Pang Tong asked. "Have you forgotten," said Zhuge, "I am Zhuge Liang. There is little I don't know." "Yeah, well, I have stay a little longer." "Why is that," Zhuge asked. "Because I have a promise to keep," Pang Tong said.

Lacus had gone inside an office. She had received word that Pang Tong wanted to talk to her in private. When she got inside she saw not only Pang Tong, but Cagali, Kira and Athrun as well. Pang Tong was on a chair behind the desk with both Kira and Athrun standing on either side. "What's going on," she asked. Cagali shrugged. "Oh, I just wanted to talk about a certain photo I found in Cagali's possession," Pang Tong said. "What photo," Cagali asked suspiciously. Pang Tong gave the photo to Kira, who gave it to Cagali. She looked at it. It was obvious that she was shocked to see this. "So what," Cagali said, "This an embarrassing photo of Kira and Athrun. I plan to show it to everyone." "You bitch," Athrun said angrily. Pang Tong sighed. "I thought this would happen, so I went to Lacus's room and searched for something to use against you." "You mean, you--" Lacus said, suddenly frightened. "That's right," Pang Tong said, "I found highly embarrassing photos of you." He showed her three of the slide pics he had gotten. "One you're a sadistic psycho, the other you're a lesbian, and the other you're doing Kira while he was unconscious." "What," Athrun said horrified. He took the slide from Pang Tong's hand and looked at the date that was conveniently printed there. "Hey, wait a minute," Athrun said, "This was when I thought I killed Kira!" He looked at Lacus. "You sick bitch!" he yelled, "Not only were you cheating on me, but you were trying to do it with an unconscious guy!" "I was desperate," Lacus said, "You'd be too if your 'fiancée' was too busy with war to stay with you." "What a cheap excuse," Athrun said furiously. "I just can't believe Cagali's a lesbian," Kira said thoughtfully. "I am not a lesbian," Cagali shouted, then she folded her arms and said "I'm a bi." "That's not much better," Kira said. "Speak for yourself," Athrun said. "Okay, calm down," Pang Tong said, "The point is we have something that can damage your lives as well. Now, I am willing to negotiate a de--." Suddenly there was a sound of automatic fire, and Pang Tong's head exploded like a melon. The blood and brain fragments splattered on the wall and on Kira and Athrun. The rest of Pang Tong's body fell back on the floor. Everyone looked shocked at the corpse, than at Lacus. She had a smoking Uzi in one hand, the same one in the picture, and she was breathing fast. "Now nobody will know," she said. Suddenly, Pang Tong's body burst into green flames and was burned to ashes. Then Pang Tong came out again, clothes and all. "I REALLY wish you hadn't done that," he said. Everyone was staring at him with their mouths open in shock and horror. "You're not human," Lacus said, and fired another burst, this time bursting Pang Tong's chest wide open. Again, Pang Tong came out of the flames. "Now really, that's enough," he said, but Lacus fired again. Again Pang Tong revived. "Hey, stop tha--" He didn't finish, as Lacus fired again. And again Pang Tong came back to life. "Now that's getting real annoying," he said, but Lacus fired again. "Will you cut that out?" Pang Tong yelled after he came back to life again, but Lacus still fired. When Pang Tong came back he was ready. He pointed his staff towards her. The orb was sky blue this time. "Ice!" he said. An ice blast came from his staff, hitting Lacus's gun and freezing the muzzle. "Now, as you can see, I can't die," Pang Tong said. "Wow, really," Athrun asked. "Yes," Pang Tong answered. Suddenly, Athrun drew a gun and shot Pang Tong in the head. Pang Tong fell dead, then came back in a burst of flame. "What did you do that for!" Pang Tong asked. "Wow, you really can't die," Athrun said. "Hey, let me try," Kira said. Athrun passed Kira the gun and Kira fired at Pang Tong's heart. "You… bastard," Pang Tong said, then fell dead and came back to life. "Wow, this is pretty fun," Kira said, clearly enjoying himself. He fired again, but this time Pang Tong knocked it out of his way. They heard a grunt of pain and a thud of something heavy falling on the floor. Everyone looked at the door and saw Mu lying on the floor, with a shot in his head. Everyone remained silent for a moment. "Okay," Pang Tong said slowly, "Destroy the photos of Kira and Athrun, and they'll agree to not show the slides to anyone. Oh, and everyone will say that a Zaft spy did that." Everyone agreed. "Well, then, now that's that settled, I'll take my leave. Good bye." "Yeah, see you, Pang Tong," said Athrun. "Take care," Lacus said. "Bye," said Kira. "Yeah, be careful out there," Cagali said. Pang Tong waved and ran out of there. The others were still looking at Mu. "So, who will be the spy," Lacus asked finally. Then Dearka appeared by the entrance. "Hey, has anyone seen-- Oh my god! Mu!" Then he looked at the others, and gasped as he saw both Kira's and Athrun's clothes stained with blood, not to mention the wall. "There's our spy," Athrun said. "What?" Dearka asked confused, then saw Lacus aiming at him with a Uzi. "Hey, wait a--" There was gunfire, and Dearka fell dead.

Pang Tong ran straight for the hangar, where Zhuge Liang was still waiting. "So, how did it go," he asked. "Great," Pang Tong said sarcastically, "Let's get out of here." "I thought you'd never ask," Zhuge Liang said. He took from his robe a white feather fan and waved it at the air. Suddenly, a portal opened, and both men jumped in. They then found themselves in the colorful spiral of the universal pathway. "So, do you still plan to go to another dimension," Zhuge asked. "Of course," Pang Tong said. "I see," Zhuge said, "In that case, I will aid you." "What, Why," Pang Tong asked. "Because I have nothing better to do." Pang Tong chuckled. "Thanks," he said. "Your welcome," Zhuge said, "I will return to our universe. From there I will help you by giving you information on the universe you find yourself in." "Right," Pang Tong said, and left down the pathway. "I hope you find the peace you seek, old friend," said Zhuge. He then left for his own dimension.

Pang Tong was traveling through the pathway, looking for a dimension he could be interested in. He found one. "Oh," he looked at the place closely. "YU-GI-OH," he read slowly. "Sounds interesting," he said, and went to the dimension, wondering what adventures awaited him here.


	5. Chapter 4: CARDS

**Yu-Gi-Oh Universe**

**CHAPTER 4**

**CARDS**

Pang Tong landed in front of what he considered was a high school. Possibly junior high. It was a sunny day, and the students were coming out after their last classes. "Looks like a nice place," he said. He decided he would walk around the city and check out the place. As he walked around the streets, he heard Zhuge Liang's voice in his head, telling him of the universe he was in. "In YU-GI-OH, everything is resolved by the cards. This cards are called Duel Monsters, which here some believe have ancient origins." "Interesting," said Pang Tong. "Right now you are in the Battle City tournament, near it's end. Since you will no doubt want to participate, I prepared a deck and the 'locator cards', which should allow you to enter the finals," Zhuge said. Suddenly in front of Pang Tong a puff of smoke showed up. When it cleared, there was a duel disk, 6 locator cards, and a deck. Pang Tong took the duel disc and placed it in his arm. Then he took the deck and placed it inside the duel disc. He picked up the locator cards and placed them in his pocket. "Aren't you going to check the deck," asked Zhuge Liang. "Nah, I trust you enough to know you wouldn't give me anything crappy," Pang Tong said, "Still, you could explain to me how to play the cards on the way." "Very well," Zhuge said, "Listen carefully." "Like I have a choice." Pang Tong walked towards the location he saw in the locator cards.

Pang Tong reached the location. It was a giant stadium, where in the middle was what looked like a giant balloon. "What is that," Pang Tong asked. "That is a blimp," Zhuge said, "It floats using hydrogen." "Okay, I don't know what hydrogen is, and I don't really care." He went towards the blimp. He saw what he was sure were the other duelists. On top of the ramp was a young but cruel-looking man who was giving a speech. The others in front of him were looking up, listening intently. One of them was a puny looking kid with the most ridiculously colored hair he had ever seen. _How does he keep it so spiky_, Pang Tong thought. The other was a young girl whom he was sure was not going to duel. The other was another young man, although this one rather tall, who looked as smart as cabbage. The other one was a young man as well. This one had long white hair, and an innocent face. But Pang Tong sensed something else in him. There was a darkness hidden in this boy. _Better watch out for him_, he thought. He saw other people that he was not interested in. "Okay, get in," said the mean-looking man. They did.

While airborne, they were all required to remain in the main hall to wait and see who would duel who. In the meantime, there was a buffet to keep them entertained. Pang Tong saw the dense looking man eat. "Hey, who are you," said the young man, talking to Pang Tong. "Pang Tong's the name," he said, "And you?" "I'm Joey," he said, "Dis guy over here is my friend Yugi." He was pointing at the short boy with the ridiculous hairdo. "Hi," he said. "Hey," greeted Pang Tong. "Are you dueling too?" Yugi asked. "Yep," Pang Tong said, "I came hoping to find a new life." A woman came towards them then. She was a blonde, and from her eyes Pang Tong could tell that this woman was not someone to trifle with. "So, you're a duelist," asked the woman. "That's right," Pang Tong said, "I'm Pang Tong, and you are," he asked. "My name is Mai." "A pleasure to meet you." said Pang Tong. "Ishizu," Yugi said suddenly. "Who," Pang Tong asked. He looked behind him and saw another woman walking towards him. She was clearly Egyptian, wearing unnecessary robes and a turban around her head and face. She stopped right behind Pang Tong, who turned to face her. They stared at each other for a moment. Pang Tong could sense another power in her. "Your name is Pang Tong, is it not," she asked, although it wasn't really a question. "And you are Ishizu," Pang Tong said. "You are not supposed to be here, phoenix," said Ishizu. "I'm not supposed to be in many places," Pang Tong said, "But that's really none of your business." Yugi and Joey simply stared at this strange conversation. The tension was interrupted when a man announced that the picking of duels would begin. Everyone gathered to see. Apparently, the whole thing was like a game of bingo, where the duelists would be randomly picked. Pang Tong was number 7. And that was exactly the first number that came out. His opponent would be number 3, Bakura. "Well, what do you know…" Pang Tong said. Bakura was the young man with the darkness that Pang Tong felt earlier. Pang Tong decided to ignore the others and go straight for the arena.

Everyone gathered excitedly around the arena to watch the duel. After all, many were curious about how the new guy, Pang Tong, would fare against Bakura. "Dis is gonna be awesome," Joey said, "I just know it!" "I'm excited too, Joey," said Yugi. Tea and Tristan had just gotten there. "Did we miss anything?" Tristan asked. "Nope, your just in time!" said Joey. "Oh good," Tea said, "I'd really like to see how this Pang Tong guy duels."

In the arena, both duelists glared at each other. "Duelists, begin!" said the announcer. Bakura was to make the first move. "I place two cards face down," he said, placing two face down, "and I summon the Headless Knight, in attack mode!" The headless knight appeared in front of Pang Tong. "Right, my turn," Pang Tong said, "Although, before we continue, I would like you to drop the mask." "Mask," Bakura said, "What mask?" "What is dat guy talking about?" Joey said. "Hmm," Yugi said. "Don't play dumb," Pang Tong said, "I sensed that darkness. Now come out or I'll make you." Pang Tong was dead serious. Suddenly Bakura started laughing evilly, than a ring came out of his chest. "What the!" said Joey. "Well, now that you showed yourself, let's get this duel going," Pang Tong said. He placed four cards on the magic zone and placed one monster face-down on the field. "Whoa, he emptied his whole hand in one turn," said Tristan, "Was that smart?" "Only if he knows what he's doing," Mai said. "Tsk," said Bakura. "I summon the 13th Graveyard, in attack mode!" A zombie then came out, holding a sword and a coffin. "Headless Knight, attack!" The headless knight attacked, but Pang Tong was ready. "I play the trap card Deflect!" he said. Suddenly a shield appeared in front of his monster and repelled the attack. The sword fell off his hand and hit Bakura instead. Bakura grunted in pain. "Heh, heh, didn't expect that, did you jack-ass?" said Pang Tong, "It's obvious by now what that card does." "You mean, you won't explain it?" Bakura asked. "Hell no," Pang Tong said, "I'm not going to waste my time with that. Now do something so I can kick your ass quicker." Bakura growled. He drew and looked at the card, then laughed. "Your finished Pang Tong. I play Heavy Storm!" "Magic Jammer," Pang Tong said simply. He discarded a card from his hand and watched Bakura's face of horror with contempt. "Damn you," Bakura said, "I summon the Great Orc!" The orc appeared, but unexpectedly a beam of light came out of it and struck Bakura, making him lose 500 life points. "What, But how," he asked horrified. "Remember the card I discarded?" Pang Tong said, "It's called Juggernaut. Every time you summon, you lose health." "Impossible!" Bakura said, "I never heard of such a card!" "Better for me," Pang Tong said. "Grrr." "Right, my turn," Pang Tong said, "I play Pot of Greed." He drew two more cards. "Cool," he said. "I place two more cards face down and end my turn."

"Unbelievable," Joey said, "He only has one monster in the field and his still mopping the floor with Bakura!" "Yeah," Yugi said, "But there are some cards I haven't heard of before."

"Will you hurry up already," Pang Tong said, "This is boring." Bakura drew his next card. "Heh, I play Monster Reborn!" The 13th Graveyard came back, although Bakura lost another 500. "Now I play Continuation!" Pang Tong suddenly heard Zhuge Liang in his head. "He's not supposed to have that card. It's not even supposed to exist." "Whatever," said Pang Tong. "Now I sacrifice these three to summon the Dark Necrofear!" The dark necrofear came out, replacing the other three. "You have no idea the horrors that await you. This card will signify your doom," Bakura said, then laughed evilly. He laughed for so long that Pang Tong couldn't help himself. He took his staff, muttered "Ice," and taking the small ice cube between his thumb and index finger, flicked it into Bakura's throat. Bakura choked on the ice, then coughed it out. "Why, you--" he began angrily. "Finally, I have your attention," Pang Tong said, "I was afraid you had gotten crazy. Well, crazier than you already were." "I play Death!" (In our cards it's known as Final) Bakura said. A board suddenly appeared, with two hands moving to the letter D. "What's that?" Pang Tong asked. "Figure it out," Bakura said. "Don't have to," Pang Tong said. He drew his next card. "Perfect," he said. "I sacrifice 99 of my life points to activate the magic card The Fires of Wu. It removes 2000 of your life points." "What!" Bakura screamed. Suddenly a raging fire surrounded Bakura and his monster. A tiger came out of the flames and attacked both the Necrofear and Bakura. He had lost. "Wow, that was amazing," said Tea. "Yeah," Joey agreed, "He creamed him." "And so quickly," said Mai. Yugi was silent.

Pang Tong approached Bakura. "And now, for the ring," he said. "W-what are you doing?" Bakura asked nervously. The orb in Pang Tong's staff turned dark purple. "Vorpal!" he shouted. A dark ball of energy came out of his staff and struck the ring, making it vanish. "That should take care of the dark presence," he said, and left. "The first round is over!" said the announcer, "The winner: Pang Tong!"


	6. Chapter 5: BELIEFS

**CHAPTER 5**

**BELIEFS**

Pang Tong was looking at the duel between Kaiba and Ishizu. He had decided that he would look at other duels to see how people here act. The first thing he noticed was the amazing amount of crap they said. Most of what they said didn't have anything to do with the duel. _No wonder they thought my duel was short_, he thought, _These people won't shut up_. He saw as the duel finally ended. Next was Mai VS Marik. Pang Tong saw as the clearly evil Marik summoned the "Shadow Realm". "The shadow realm," Zhuge said, "The realm where the ancients once dueled." Pang Tong saw as Mai lost a memory for every monster that was destroyed. But what really alarmed him was the Egyptian God Card that Marik had. The so-called Winged Dragon of Ra. "That's no hologram," Pang Tong said. "Now die!" yelled Marik, and the monster fired. Yugi was going to intervene, but Pang Tong beat him to it. He jumped in front of Mai and, spinning his staff, deflected the attack. "A monster like that should not be allowed to exist," Pang Tong said. The orb in the staff went dark purple. "Vorpal!" he shouted. The same dark ball of energy that destroyed the millennium ring hit the dragon. The monster roared in pain as it was sucked into the dark energy. "What's going on?" asked a shocked Marik. The dragon eventually disappeared, and Marik's card was split neatly in half. "No!" yelled a horrified Marik, "But how?" Pang Tong showed Marik the dark purple orb in his staff. "See this," he said, pointing at the orb, "This is one of the five musou orbs, the Vorpal Orb. This orb sends whatever it hits straight to the realm of Death itself. Your 'god' is probably dead by now." Everyone was speechless. "You'll pay for this," Marik said.

"So, let me guess the plot here," Pang Tong said, "You are the super evil man who wishes to rule the world through the power of this 'god cards' and Yugi is supposed to stop you through dueling, right?" "As if," Marik said, "No one will stop me as soon as I get my hands on the other god car--" he never finished, as Pang Tong's staff went right through his chest. "I'm sorry," Pang Tong said as he pulled the staff out of Marik's chest, "But this way Mai will recover her memories and the world will be safe." He heard Zhuge Liang's voice in his head, "You understand you just obliterated the story of this universe, right?" "Yeah, pretty much," Pang Tong said.

Mai opened her eyes and saw that she was on the floor. Joey was beside her. "Ugh," she said when she tried to lift her head, "Joey," she asked. "Hey, you got your memories back!" he said. "Brother," Ishizu said sadly, "There was some good left in him, you know." "Yeah, Pang Tong!" said Tea, "That was very uncool!" "You didn't have to kill him," said Duke, who up to now had been very quiet. "Boy, you people just can't make up your minds, can you?" said Pang Tong, "He was planning to enslave the world. He was either your enemy or your friend. To me, he was my enemy. So I decided to end it here like this rather than take my chances." "Pang Tong," said Kaiba. "Yes," asked Pang Tong. "Listen," Kaiba said, "I don't care about Marik, but I wanted that Egyptian God Card, and I'm going to make you pay for that. Once we reach the tower, you're going to duel me next." "Brother," said the child beside him. "Don't worry little girl," Pang Tong said, "Your big brother is just angry." "Hey, I'm not a little girl," yelled the child, "My name is Mokuba, and I'm a boy!" "Oh," said Pang Tong, embarrassed. Mokuba turned to Kaiba. "Seto, kick his ass in the duel!" he said. "Don't worry, Mokuba" Kaiba said, "I will." "Aw, come on," Pang Tong said_. How many enemies can I possibly make in 5 minutes_, Pang Tong thought. "Pang Tong!" said a strong voice behind him. Pang Tong turned and saw that it was Yugi, but he was different. He was definitely taller. "Hey, how did you transform like that," Pang Tong asked. "Wait, you mean you noticed," Yugi asked, strangely surprised. "You'd have to be blind not to," Pang Tong said. "Wow, I can't believe it," Yugi said, "Someone finally noticed." "Your kidding," said Pang Tong, amazed that people here didn't notice that he grew at least three feet taller. "That doesn't matter right now," Yugi said, "Pang Tong, I cannot agree with killing Marik. I will defeat you!" "Good grief," Pang Tong said, "You people are strange." "I have something to say too!" Tristan said. "Ah, shut up," Pang Tong said, "You people talk too much." He left.

The next day, Pang Tong was on top of the blimp. It was the only place that the others couldn't see him. _This is really messed up_, he thought. Suddenly the blimp went down. "What the heck," Pang Tong said. "Mr. Kaiba, I've lost control of the blimp," said the pilot. Pang Tong didn't need to hear more. He felt the presence of whatever was pulling them in. "I could just leave them to drown," Pang Tong said to himself, "But I'm not that kind of guy." He concentrated once more. This time the orb in his staff went black, with a bright light in the middle. "Blast orb!" he shouted, aiming his staff down. A ball of light came out of the staff. The force of the attack was so strong that Pang Tong was knocked to his back. "Well, that should do it," he said as he saw his attack go underwater.

Noah was watching the blimp as it went towards his base. "Finally," he said. "Noah, sir!" said one of his underlings, "There's a large energy source heading our direction!" "What?" yelled Noah. That was the most he said. The ball hit his base and it was utterly destroyed.

"You enjoy destroying a universe's history, don't you," Zhuge Liang asked in Pang Tong's head. "What do you mean?" Pang Tong asked, "I just saved their lives." "They weren't going to drown," Zhuge said. Pang Tong stared at the water for a moment. "Good grief," he said.

The blast had delayed the flight time, and they wouldn't get to the island until the next day. Pang Tong took this chance to talk to Zhuge and understand more of the story in this universe. Or, at least, what was left of it. By nighttime Pang Tong learned all he had to know. He decided he would go to bed and get an early start tomorrow. _After all_, he thought, _I'm gonna duel the best for no real reason_. As he walked down the hall towards his room, he heard moaning from another room. "Hm?" Pang Tong pressed his ear against the wall. It sounded painful. "Oh boy," he said nervously. He was afraid that someone might be tortured in there. After all, this place was strange enough. And it was too corny. Pang Tong decided to open the door. Just as he approached, he could hear a little voice in the back of his head telling him just what a dumb-ass he is and that it was a terrible idea to open that door. But he did anyway, and he went inside the room. There he saw Tea Gardner, who was the one who was moaning. But that definitely wasn't a face of pain.

"Oh," Pang Tong said. He could hear that little voice laughing at him. Tea looked at Pang Tong, then screamed. Yami Yugi appeared from under the covers. "What is it," he asked. She pointed at Pang Tong. Yami looked, then gasped. "Look, this is obviously the wrong room," Pang Tong said, "So if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you two alone." "Wait, Pang Tong!" said Tea, "Please don't tell Yugi. He'll be crushed." "Don't tell Yugi," Pang Tong asked, "But, isn't Yugi inside Yami?" "Oh, yeah," Tea said. "I forgot," Yami said. "You forgot," Pang Tong asked. Then Tea gasped. "But, then that means that Yugi knows," she said. "That's right," said Yugi from Yami's mind. "Did I hear that?" Pang Tong asked. "Yugi, I'm sorry," Yami said. "Sorry? What for? This is great!" said Yugi. "You mean, you don't mind," Tea asked. "Of course not," Yugi said, "After all, it's my body. Everything Yami feels, I feel." "Oh, so it's sort of like a three-way, right," said Yami. "Exactly," said Yugi. "Wow, so that means I get to do it with two guys," Tea said, "Cool." "Well, I'm glad that's settled," Yami said. "Yeah," said Yugi. Pang Tong was stunned. If he didn't have his mask on, they would have seen his mouth wide open. "I have been through countless battles," he said, "I have seen and heard the most disturbing acts of understanding that any human could do, but that," he said, pointing at them, "that definitely takes the cake." "You won't tell anyone, will you," Tea asked. "Not if you don't want me too," Pang Tong said. "Thanks," said Yami. "Well, good night," Pang Tong said and left. As the door closed behind him, he took a deep breath. "Good grief," he said. "Hey Zhuge, you there," Pang Tong called. "Yes, what is it," Zhuge asked. "Did Yugi have any relationship with Tea," Pang Tong asked. "Not an intimate one, why?" Pang Tong groaned. "It doesn't matter," he said. He went to his room, thinking of how badly he had messed up this universe.


	7. Chapter 6: DUELS AT DUELIST TOWER

**CHAPTER 6 **

**DUELS AT DUELIST TOWER**

"So this is duelist tower," Pang Tong said. They had finally gotten in view of the island, and standing clearly tall in the middle was a long tower. "Well, it definitely deserves the title of tower," Pang Tong said. "Preparing to land," said the pilot. "Finally," Kaiba said. "It's a shame I can't duel," Joey said to Pang Tong, "Somebody burned my deck last night. And I can only think of one person capable at such a dirty trick," he added, looking at Kaiba. "Yes, of course…" said Pang Tong, gripping his staff tighter.

After they finally landed, they walked straight for the tower. When they reached in, they went into separate elevators: duelists in one side, spectators in the other. There was a tense silence between the three duelists as the elevator went up. "Yugi," Kaiba said. "What is it, Kaiba?" Yugi asked. "After I'm through with Pang Tong, I will defeat you, and I will have that Egyptian God Card." "We'll see about that, Kaiba," Yugi said. Pang Tong was staring at Kaiba. "What's your problem," Kaiba asked annoyed. "You have some serious card issues, you know," Pang Tong said. "What," Kaiba said, "Now you listen here, Pang Tong. Once I get Yugi's Egyptian God Card, I will be the greatest duelist in the world!" "What you should get is a life," Pang Tong said. Kaiba growled. "Don't push it," he said. "Oh please," Pang Tong said, "It's just a stupid card game. It's not like our lives depend on it. Well, not anymore anyway." "We'll see how stupid it is once I defeat you," Kaiba said angrily. Just as he finished saying this, the elevator stopped. "Were here," Kaiba said.

The spectators watched as the duelists exited. "Whoa," Joey said. "What is it, Joey," Tea asked. "Just look at them," he said, "They look pissed. Especially Kaiba." Tea looked at them, and saw that it was true. There was hatred burning in Kaiba's eyes. "This could get messy," said Duke.

"The rules are simple," said the announcer, "Two duelists will battle first. The winner will have a ten-minute break before facing the next duelist." "Well, that is simple," Pang Tong said. "Duelists, begin," said the announcer.

Kaiba made the first move. "I'm going to destroy you, Pang Tong," Kaiba said. "What is your problem," Pang Tong said, "You've been making threats to me ever since I offed Marik." "What's my problem, you ask," Kaiba said, "You are my problem, Pang Tong." "Please, explain," Pang Tong said. "Ever since you got in my blimp, everything I planned went straight to hell," Kaiba said, "I never even heard of you, and yet you somehow managed to get all the necessary locator cards and make it to the finals. Then you destroy the Winged Dragon of Ra, the card that was supposed to be mine." "Oh yeah," Pang Tong said, "You definitely have some serious issues to attend to." Kaiba growled. "I place two cards face down and play the Luster Dragon in attack mode," he said. A blue dragon came out, with 1900 attack points. Pang Tong whistled. "Strong," he said. "Your move," Kaiba said. "All right," Pang Tong said and drew a card. "I place three cards face down and play one monster face down. I end my turn." "Do you honestly believe that that's going to work against me," Kaiba said, "I play Giant Trunade!" "Magic Jammer," Pang Tong said. "Hah, You fell for it," Kaiba said, "I play seven tools of the bandit, This card--" he began to explain, but Pang Tong interrupted, "Yeah, yeah, I know already," he said. "Good," Kaiba said. Pang Tong's cards went back to his hand. "Now I summon the Iron Golem," he said. The monster had 1100. "Now, Luster Dragon, attack his lone monster!" The Luster Dragon breathed fire from it's mouth, hitting Pang Tong's monster. When it revealed itself, it was a Man-Eater Bug. "What," Kaiba shouted. "That's right," Pang Tong said, "Now say good bye to your Golem." The bug fired it's claws at the Iron Golem before being destroyed. The golem was destroyed. "Guess that means you won't attack my life points, eh," Pang Tong said. Kaiba growled. "Your move," he said. "With pleasure," Pang Tong said.

"Wow, nice move," said Joey. "Yeah," Tristan said. "Pang Tong was sure that Kaiba would get past his plans," Yami said, "So he placed the bug as a fail-safe." "I guess Kaiba has his work cut out for him," said Duke.

"I place, once again, three cards face down," Pang Tong said, "And I play the Battle Ox in attack mode." "The Battle Ox may be strong, but it's still no match for my Luster Dragon," Kaiba said. "Will you let me finish," Pang Tong said, "Now I use the Axe of Despair," he said. "No," Kaiba said, "That increases it's attack by 1000!" "I knew that," Pang Tong said. "Now, attack," he said. The ox charged, and sliced the dragon in two. "Damn," Kaiba said. His life points dropped to 3400. "I end my turn," Pang Tong said. "I play the magic card Dark Hole," Kaiba said. "Oh shit," Pang Tong said. The dark hole destroyed his ox, leaving him wide open. "Now I summon the Celtic Guardian," he said. 1400 attack points. "You have that card," Pang Tong asked. "Attack," Kaiba said. It did. Suddenly, Pang Tong's warrior instincts told him to move out of the way, so he did. The guardian barely scratched his neck. He also lost a chunk of life points, with only 2600 left. _Wait a minute_, Pang Tong thought. He touched the part were he was attacked and realized he was bleeding. "It can't be," he said. Then he heard Kaiba laugh. "What's wrong?." he asked, "Don't you like the new innovations I made? I removed the safety features, you see." "What," Pang Tong said, surprised. "That's right," Kaiba said, in mock imitation to Pang Tong, "In other words, one of us will die before this is over." Kaiba laughed again. It was obvious that this was very personal to Kaiba. "Kaiba, stop this madness," Yugi said. "Stay out of this, Yugi," Pang Tong said. "But," Yugi started. "Really Kaiba, your nuts," Pang Tong said, "Did you honestly believe this will deter me?" "Huh," Kaiba said. "If I can kill Marik in cold blood, I can do the same to you. As for me, well, death is common in my life. So get ready." "Brother, stop it," Mokuba said, "This isn't like you," "Shut up, Mokuba," said Kaiba, "As you can see, this is personal."

"Well, I do believe it's my turn," Pang Tong said. He drew a card. "I summon the Ryu-Kishin Powered," he said. The monster came out with 1600 attack points. "Attack," Pang Tong shouted. The Ryu-Kishin charged, but Kaiba activated a trap card. "I activate The Ring of Destruction," he shouted. A ring appeared out of nowhere and destroyed Pang Tong's Monster. "Damn," Pang Tong muttered. "I take this chance to activate Ultimate Offering," said Kaiba. "I end my turn," Pang Tong said. "I summon Sagi the Dark Clown," Kaiba said. "I also use my Ultimate offering to summon three more monsters," he said. "Wow, that's a lot of life points lost," Pang Tong said. It was true. Kaiba lost 1500 life points, leaving him with 1900.

"Why would Kaiba take such a risk," Yugi said to himself, "Unless… No," Yugi said in realization. "Could he be planning to summon Obelisk?"

"Now, attack, Celtic Guardian," Kaiba shouted. The monster attacked, once again hitting Pang Tong, this time in the leg. "Your move," Kaiba said. "All right, then." Pang Tong said. He drew a card, then said, "I play the Cyber Soldier, in defense mode." The monster came out, with it's arm in front of it to defend itself. "I also equip it the Last Will. I end my turn." "You fool," Kaiba said, "Finally, I have all the cards in place. I summon Obelisk the Tormentor!" Three of Kaiba's monsters vanished, replaced by the Obelisk. "Whoa," said Pang Tong. The monster was huge. It was blue too, and ugly. _Just the card for Kaiba_, he thought. "Now watch as I sacrifice two more monsters to increase it's attack." Kaiba said. The Obelisk grabbed the two remaining monsters and absorbed them. "Now," Kaiba said, "Attack, Obelisk!" The Obelisk attacked with it's fist, destroying the soldier with one punch. The explosion was so great that Pang Tong nearly lost his footing. Kaiba laughed. "How do you like it," he said, "My Obelisk is unstoppable." "Whatever Kaiba," Pang Tong said, "It's my turn." He drew a card. "Now, the last will allows me to summon a fairly weak monster, so I summon Jinzo #7," Pang Tong said. The monster came out, with only 500 attack points.

"What is Pang Tong thinking," Duke asked, "There's no way that card could hold up against Obelisk." "That's all right," Joey said, "He probably has some plan cooked up." Yugi remained silent. "I hope your right, Joey," said Yugi, "Pang Tong's life is in danger."

"Kaiba," Pang Tong said. "Yeah," Kaiba asked. "First of all, you are one crazy bastard," Pang Tong said, "And secondly, I would like to thank you for being so predictable." "What," Kaiba asked, "Are you blind? Can't you see that I have been manipulating this entire duel?" "Just shut up and watch, Kaiba," Pang Tong said. "First, I equip my Jinzo #7 with the Conveyor Belt, which increases it's attack by 500," he said. "Hah," Kaiba said, "That's still not enough to defeat me." "That would be true," Pang Tong said, "If I didn't have this. Megamorph!" "No," Kaiba shouted. _He only has 200 life points_, Kaiba thought, _He has less, which means that his monster gets twice the attack_. "Boy, you people think too much too," Pang Tong said. His Jinzo's attack increased to 2000. "Now to end this," Pang Tong said, "Jinzo, attack!" Kaiba watched in horror as the Jinzo #7 went right by Obelisk and attacked him, firing him on the shoulder. Kaiba fell back, his face a portrait of shock. The Obelisk disappeared. The duel was over.

"Whoa," Joey said, "Talk about a comeback." "Kaiba thought that he was manipulating this round," Yugi said, "But in truth it was the other way around. Pang Tong had been manipulating this duel from the very beginning."

"But…why," Kaiba asked, still in shock, "I… was supposed to defeat Yugi." "You were too arrogant," Pang Tong said, "And overconfident." He took the Obelisk. "These cards bring too much misery to exist," he said. The orb in his staff turned dark purple. "Vorpal," Pang Tong said. The dark energy hit the card, making it vanish. "I hope you've learned a lesson from all this," Pang Tong told Kaiba. "The winner of this round: Pang Tong," said the announcer. _I wonder what'll happen now_, Pang Tong thought, _Well, whatever it is, I better be ready for it_.


	8. Chapter 7: PHARAOH

**CHAPTER 7**

**PHARAOH**

Pang Tong was sitting cross-legged on the floor in his room, meditating. This was the best chance to get a break, especially since his next duel is only five minutes away. _Boy_, Pang Tong thought, _I sure did a number on this universe_. He had killed the main villain when he wasn't supposed to die, he's mere presence created the strange relationship of Tea, Yami and Yugi. What else could he do? And now he has to duel (for perhaps no reason) the main character. Just as he was pondering on his apparent misfortune, the door behind him opened. He turned his head to see who it was, and saw that it was Ishizu. She didn't have her turban this time, and Pang Tong thought that she looked pretty.

"Hey," Pang Tong said, "What's up?" "I know that you destroyed the Obelisk," Ishizu said. "Yeah, I'm sure," Pang Tong said, "Well, it's not like I had a choice, you see." Ishizu smiled. "No, I suppose not," she said. Pang Tong looked at her suspiciously. "What did you come here for, really," he said, "I doubt it's to wish me good luck." "I came to ask you," Ishizu said, "Why is it that you abandoned your universe? What is it that you truly seek?" Pang Tong looked away from her for a moment. "Well," he said somberly, "If you really must know, I seek change." "Change," asked Ishizu, puzzled. "You don't know what it's like, to have the phoenix curse on you," Pang Tong said, "Sure, it's a lot of fun at first. I mean, no one can kill you. But then…" "But then," Ishizu asked. Pang Tong sighed sadly. "There is no worse feeling," he said, gripping his staff tightly, "Than watching your soldiers die around you because of your screw-up, then live to regret it." Pang Tong stood up. "I have always had this curse," Pang Tong said, "And what's more, I'm simply tired of getting killed by people. Some do it for vengeance, others because their crazy. So that's why I decided to leave. To find a new home, where I don't have to die. At least, not by murder." Ishizu looked at him sadly. "You know, officially, I'm 36," Pang Tong said, "But in reality, I'm close to being 200. And I'm so tired, so damn tired. I just want to rest. To escape this damn life. " Pang Tong walked past Ishizu. He stopped behind her. "You know," he said, "You look better without the mask." Just as he went to leave, Ishizu embraced him from behind. "Ishizu," Pang Tong said, shocked. "I pity you, phoenix," Ishizu said, "You have lost your sense of belonging, so now you seek a new home." "Heh, thanks for the sympathy," Pang Tong said. "And now, there is one last thing I must do," Ishizu said. "Oh," Pang Tong asked, finding it difficult to swallow, "And that is?" Ishizu suddenly grabbed Pang Tong's head and twisted it, breaking his neck. Pang Tong fell dead, then came back in flames. "Well," Pang Tong said weakly, rubbing his neck, "That sure ruined the moment." "We are even now, phoenix," Ishizu said. "Huh," Pang Tong asked. "You killed my brother," Ishizu said, offering her hand to help him stand up, "So to avenge his death, I killed you." "Right," Pang Tong said, taking her hand. "Good luck, Pang Tong," Ishizu said. "Hey, you said my name," Pang Tong said, and left for the arena.

When Pang Tong reached the arena, he saw that Yugi was already there, along with his friends. Kaiba was also there, and he had a bandage on his arm. "So, how's the shoulder doing, Kaiba," Pang Tong asked. Kaiba scowled. "Okay," Pang Tong said, "Well, glad to see your alright anyway." "Are the duelists ready," the announcer asked. "As ready as I'll ever be," Pang Tong said. Yugi nodded. "Duelists: Begin," said the announcer. Suddenly, Yugi was surrounded by a bright light, and Pang Tong heard a voice that seemed to come from nowhere yell "YU-GI-OH!" When the light show was finished, Yami was the one standing in front of Pang Tong. "Oh, it's that transformation again," Pang Tong said, "Hey Yugi, I have a question." "What is it," Yami asked. "Does that transformation help at all," Pang Tong asked. "What do you mean," Yami asked. "I mean, does it give you any special advantages in a duel," Pang Tong asked. "Well, it does allow me to use the powers of the millennium puzzle," Yami said. "In a duel," Pang Tong asked. "Uh, no," Yami said. "Then it's not really useful, is it," Pang Tong said. "It allows me to speak with Yugi so that we can come up with plans," Yami explained, a bit desperate. "But, can't you do that without transforming," Pang Tong asked. "It helps us duel like one," Yami said a bit louder. "Now, I don't know why, but that sounds a bit stupid," Pang Tong said. "All right," Yami said, "It just makes us look cool." "That doesn't sound like a good reason to transform," Pang Tong said. "Will you just duel," Yami asked irritated. "All right, all right," Pang Tong said. "I place two cards face down and play the Ryu-Kishin Powered in attack mode. I end my turn." Yami drew a card. "I place three cards face down and I place one monster face down in defense mode." "My turn," Pang Tong said. He drew a card and looked at it. Well, this should come in handy, he thought. "I place one card face-down," Pang Tong said, "And I summon the Giant Orc, in attack mode." "Ryu-Kishin, attack!" The Ryu-Kishin attacked, destroying Yami's face-down monster. "Not very impressive," Pang Tong said, "Giant Orc, attack!" The Giant Orc attacked, but Yami activated his trap card. "Invisible Wire," he said. Suddenly, the Giant Orc was covered in wires, then vanished. "Huh," Pang Tong said, "Spoke too soon." "My move," Yami said. "I play the magic card Fissure!" Suddenly, a large hole appeared under Pang Tong's Ryu-Kishin, making it fall. "Oh," Pang Tong said. "Now I summon the Obnoxious Celtic Guardian," Yami said, "Attack." "That card is pretty popular, huh," Pang Tong said. "I play the trap card Deflect," he shouted. A shield appeared in front of him, blocking the Celtic's attack. The sword was knocked off his hand and fell on Yami, making him lose 1500 life points. "Damn," said Yami. "Hey, we're just starting," Pang Tong said, "Don't lose hope yet." "Your turn," Yami said. Pang Tong drew a card. "Right then," he said, "I summon the Shu private, in attack mode." A soldier came out dressed in green, with a single sword and 1600 in attack. "What is that card," Yami asked surprised. "One that you will probably never see again," Pang Tong said. "Attack!" The soldier charged and stabbed the Celtic Guardian, destroying it and making Yami lose 100 more life points. "This is getting serious," Yami said.

"Yugi's getting a beating out there," Joey said. "Don't say that," Tea told Joey, "Yugi has gotten out of worse problems than this." "I'm not sure about that, Tea," Duke said, "This Pang Tong guy was able to beat Kaiba even though it seemed that Kaiba would win." "Come on, guys," Tea said, "We can't give up on Yugi now!" Joey stared at Tea, then smiled. "Your right, Tea," he said, "No matter what, we'll always stick by Yugi!" Tea smiled. "You here dat, Yugi," Joey said, "We're rooting for ya!" "Yeah, go get him Yugi," Tristan cheered.

"That's rather annoying," Pang Tong said. "Your telling me," Yami said, "It's almost impossible to concentrate when their cheering like that. It puts a lot of pressure on me." He closed his eyes, and drew the card. _Heart of the cards_, Yami thought, _help me now_. He looked at the card. "I play the Dark Hole," he said. "Wow," Pang Tong said as he saw his soldier being sucked up into the hole. "Now I play the magic card Quick Summon. It allows me to summon any monster unto the field. And I play Slifer the Sky Dragon!" "Holy crap," Pang Tong said. He was looking at what seemed to be a giant red snake, with wings and two heads. "Now, Slifer, Attack," shouted Yami. Pang Tong put his arms forward to shield his eyes from the explosion. When he looked, he had 1000 life points left. "This is the end, Pang Tong." "Not quite," Pang Tong said defiantly. "Still, I wonder, how did you get that card," he asked. "By believing in the heart of the cards," Yami said. "The what," Pang Tong asked. "The heart of the cards," Yami said, "With it, I can draw just the card I need." "But isn't that cheating," Pang Tong asked. "No," Yami said. "Yeah right," Pang Tong said, "Your just cheating, using the cards trust to your advantage." "No, I'm not," Yami said angrily. "Okay, okay, calm down," Pang Tong said. "I have no choice though," he said, "I play the magic card The Sleeping Dragon!" Suddenly, a large, snake-like dragon appeared behind Pang Tong. "What is that," Yugi said. "The most unfair card in existence," Pang Tong said, "You may have you self-esteem issues by believing in the heart of the cards, but I believe in a friend who gave me this deck." He looked up at the dragon. _Thank you, old friend_, he thought. Then he gasped. "Good grief," Pang Tong said, "Now I'm talking like you. I really have to get out of here." "You still haven't told me what that card does," Yami said. "Oh, yeah" Pang Tong said, "Well, the bottom-line is that it does the same amount of damage to your life points as your monster's attack." "What," Yami said. The dragon attacked, breathing fire from it's mouth and hitting Yami. The monsters then disappeared. The duel was over. Pang Tong won.

"I don't believe it," Joey said, "Yugi lost." "Yugi," Tea said sadly. "No," Kaiba shouted, "This can't be!" "Seto," Mokuba said. "It's not fair," Kaiba kept saying, slamming his fist to the floor, "I was supposed to defeat Yugi!"

Pang Tong walked towards Yami. "Are you all right," he asked. "I'll be fine," Yami said. He offered Pang Tong the Slifer. "Here, you've earned this," he said. "Nah, you keep it," Pang Tong said. "Are you sure," Yami said. "Hey, I've got no use for it," Pang Tong said, "And now…" He took his duel disc, tossed it to the air, aimed with his staff, and shouted "Fire!" The deck and duel disc exploded, leaving nothing but a smoldering pile of ashes. "No one can see those cards, you see," Pang Tong said. Yami nodded, then smiled. "I'm outta here," Pang Tong said. He aimed his staff in front of him. A portal opened. Just as he was going to step in, he looked back and saw Ishizu. He decided to talk to her telepathically. "Well, see you later," he said. "Do you still plan to go through other dimensions," she asked. "You got it," Pang Tong said. "I see," Ishizu said, "Good luck then." "Thanks," Pang Tong said, and went through the portal, wondering where would he go next.


End file.
